Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Randomize
