I wish I could punch you in the face.
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
