Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
Randomize
