Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
