she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
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