On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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