If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Randomize
