Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
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