Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
Randomize
