one word: firstdatebathroomanal
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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