yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
Randomize
