I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize
