no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
Randomize
