I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
