WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Randomize
