I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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