i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
Randomize
