she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
Randomize
