i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Randomize
