I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
