Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
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