I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
