we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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