operation have a gay friend backfired
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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