its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
Randomize
