Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
I'm too high and old for this...
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
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