I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize
