I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
