I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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