ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
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