Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Randomize
