I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Randomize
