sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
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