Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
Randomize
