Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
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