Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
Where is the hickey?
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
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