I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
