Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
Randomize
