I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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