My sheets look like a crime scene.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Two words: nipple clamps
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