You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
