dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
How drunk are you?
Completed.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Randomize
