I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
there was a trapeze. enough said
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
Randomize
