Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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