home. puking in laundry basket.
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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