just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
Randomize
