I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Randomize
