dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Randomize
