Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
