can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
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